Subway

At first glance it would appear to be a simple task. Pop out of the office at lunchtime and buy a sandwich. Easy I hear you say, I do it all the time.
Now picture yourself in a foreign country, picture yourself in the USA. Easy I hear you say, they speak English. Had I not visited America I would have to agree however it's not quite that simple.
My typical sandwich shop of choice at lunchtime is Subway. It's close to the office and its one of the more healthy options. Popping to a local barbque vendor, although very tasty can result in an afternoon of sleep due to over eating or a heart attack. So Subway it is. Enter the shop, quick glance at the board, deep breath and away we go:
"Good afternoon Sir, what kinda sandwich can I git ya today?"
"Hi. I would like a 6 inch tuna on the Italian Herb and Cheese please".
"OK so that's a 6 inch what now?"
"Tuna please"

I get a blank look. Now I have done this many times and I am a bit of a glutton for punishment but I believe my crazy English accent should be enough to get me by in America. Fair enough if I am in Thailand or something but not the USA. I know the lady wants to hear the word "Toooona" but I think she could make a guess. The choices are fairly limited, chicken perhaps or meat ball so my "Tuna" should do the trick. Sadly no. I switch over to my dodgy America accent.

"Toooona please"
"Oh Toooona, I wondered what you were ordering for a minute there."

Now I would hope if the situation was reversed and a Texan strolled into an English Subway his order of: "Howdy partner, git me one of those foot long tooonas on the erb and cheese, toast it with some of the pepper jack" would do the trick.

Anyway back to the sandwich. Having successfully selected bread and filling I slide down to the salad bar and say hello to the salad lady. Should I chance it or stick with the fake America accent?

"Hi. What would you like on your toooona sir?"
"Hi. I would like some lettuce, tomato, green peppers, cucumber and halapinos please".

On goes the lettuce and then nothing.

"Sorry sir what was the second item?"

A little smile to myself.

"Tomato please"

I get that look again, the look that says: "Great, another weirdo holding up the lunchtime rush. As if making sandwiches wasn't bad enough I have to deal with this."

"Sorry, Tom-ay-toe."

Sure enough on goes the tomatoes and the sandwich is complete. Now I know it's a classic, "You say Tomayto and I say Tomato" but it really is true. The lady is faced with a very limited number of choices and my request of "Tomato" should do the trick but alas it always fails but I always try. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't annoy me or cause me any stress. I actually find these little difference between our two countries interesting. I might as well be speaking Thai with my "Tuna" and my "Tomato".