I have been working here in Kansas City on and off for over two years now. I have travelled here with a number of different colleagues from the UK office and everyone has a different view on this place. Sometimes you visit a place and everyone loves it, sometimes everyone hates it. KC is a place that splits people. It has much more extreme weather compared to the UK in all seasons, it’s mid-west America, most things are bigger etc etc. Some people like it, some not. One thing you can say about KC, it’s not boring.

Perhaps to locals it is boring as the goings on here are normal but to my British mind quite a lot of the things here are totally bizarre. Not so long ago I came upon a bizarre scene......

Driving home for a spot of lunch I approached the Plaza and there was a traffic jam where normally the traffic flows freely. (traffic jams are a rarity here as the roads are massive). As I looked into the distance expecting to see flashing lights and smashed up vehicles I made out what appeared to be a massive chicken walking around. I thought back to my morning at work and didn’t remember taking any mind-altering drugs, in fact all I had consumed was a hot chocolate and a bottle of water. It wasn’t my mind slipping into a dream state it really was a six-foot tall chicken walking on the pavement (side-walk).

As the traffic moved closer the scene became even more bizarre. I knew it would be interesting as the traffic coming towards me was slowing right down next to the chicken and drivers were flashing their lights and beeping their horns. The lorry (truck) drivers were getting very excited. It was at this point I suspected there were women involved.
My suspicions were confirmed as I edged close enough to see the full scene. I am going to do my best to describe it but I feel my non-drug altered mind won’t do it justice. OK, picture the scene,

There were two coffins on the corner of Broadway and 47th Street, right in front of the most impressive water fountain on the Plaza. It’s a busy spot for both tourists and people enjoying their lunch. The sun was shining and there are people everywhere.
The coffins had their lids removed and they had been angled up so you can see inside. Each coffin contained a naked lady, one blonde and one a brunette. (They clearly had a marketing mind on the team and were trying to appeal to as many people as possible). The ladies modesty was protected by a small bunch of flowers and a message board they were holding across their chests. A strong gust of wind and everything would have been on show. Their message read:


Bird Flu has arrived
The animals are fighting back
GO VEGITARIAN

Both of the young ladies were smiling and waving at the passers by as they waved back, beeped their horns and flashed their lights. Some people even stopped their cars, leaned out of the window and took pictures with their camera phones. I didn’t blame them who would believe you when you said “I just saw to naked ladies in coffins with a six foot chicken dancing around them at lunchtime”. Totally bizarre. One young chap ran over with a camera and started snapping away. He must have thought all his Christmas and Birthdays had come at once.

I have had a look on the Internet to try to find a news station that has covered the story as I’m sure reading this you want to see the pictures. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to find one. Perhaps a Google search on something like “Two naked women and a six foot chicken” will do the trick.

One thing you can say about KC, you never know what’s going to happen next.