Wow. It's been a while since I posted on here so I thought I would cheat a little and post a few photos that show what has been going on these last few weeks. Here we go:
A while back there was a huge fire at a factory downtown. It was close to the office and this was the view out of the window.

It was touch and go if we would have to evacuate the office. A special plane flew in from Texas to test the air and the said it was safe so long as you were at least one mile away. I left the office early anyway not wanting to risk it.
We saw this guy at the airport a while back. I managed to 'pap' a photo of him. Cracking haircut!!

On a trip to the supermarket one day we came across this little beauty :-). Can you imagine getting run over by this!! You wouldn't stand a chance.


Kids toys over here in the USA seem to be a bit different to what I remember playing with as a kid. Check out these I spotted in the local WalMart. Mini motorised vehicles.


and finally...... the weather the last few days has been amazing. The temperature has gone up about 20 degrees and it's light until 8pm. We are starting to get the beautiful sunsets I remember from last year.


Note: All the pics were taken on my Nokia phone so I apologise for the poor quality.

Most days when you travel to work you follow the usual routine. Personally I walk to my car, drive about 5 miles then walk from my car to my desk. Same route each day, not usually very exciting. Friday of last week was a little different.
I walked to my car as usual, drove to the office as usual and that's where the normal routine stopped. While I waited to get in the lift to take me to the 5th floor I said good morning to the gentleman who was also waiting. Typically when I say good morning to a total stranger they would say something back to me then get on with their day. This guy was a little different. We made eye contact as he said good morning back as for a split second his eyes looked "south". It was a very quick glance but I noticed it. I thought that it was a little strange. When the lift arrived there was a woman already inside. She wasn't paying much attention to anything but when I said hello she also looked at me then made a quick flick with her eyes to check out the top of my trousers!!
By now I was starting to get a bit paranoid. The first two people I see and they both check me out. What's going on? As I waited for the lift to arrive at the 5th floor I thought my flies could be open. Perhaps that was the attention grabber. I casually checked the zip as I rode the lift and everything was where it should be. I reached the 5th floor and began walking to my desk. It's a 2 minute walk through a number of desks and corridors and along the way I past a number of people going about their daily tasks. At least two more people made eye contact and proceeded to flick their eyes down, realise I had noticed then re-make eye contact or look away.
I finally got to my desk and by now I thought my trousers were see-thru. I sat down, looked at the top of my trousers and realised the source for the wandering eyes. On my right pocket was a perfect hand print. I was wearing black trousers but I could definitely see a darker area making a perfect hand print. From the position of the print it would suggest I had been busting some Michael Jackson groin grabbing moves on the way to work. I can assure the reader that is not the case and it took me a few moments to work out how it had happened. Before I left the house I had washed my hands and there was no towel in the bathroom to dry myself. As I wandered through the house looking for a towel I must have touched my pocket to check that I had my car keys. At that moment I put a perfect hand print on my trousers.
It took about half an hour for the print to dry and disappear and for that half hour I remained at my desk not wanting to be the source of any more wandering eyes. If you want to get noticed at the start of your day, simply place a wet hand print at the top of your trousers. I can guarantee it will work :-)

A friend of mine mentioned that this has sort of turned into a "What's the difference between the USA and the UK" style blog. I guess it has. On that note I thought people might like to read an email I received this week. I didn't write it so can't claim any credit but I thought it was amusing:

U S INDEPENDENCE RESCINDED

To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.

Your new Prime Minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair MP, for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further elections.

The House of Representatives and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium." Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'; skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters.
You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise."

You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to re-spell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.
Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary." Using the same thirty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "uhh", "like", and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

Look up "interspersed."

There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows.

When you learn to develop your vocabulary, then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier).

You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents --- Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.

While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters.

British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness. Popular British films such as the Italian Job and the Wicker Man should never be remade.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football." There are other types of football such as Rugby, Aussie Rules & Gaelic football. However proper football - which will no longer be known as soccer, is the best known, most loved and most popular. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2008.
You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of North America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. The 4th of July is no longer a public holiday. The 2nd of November will be a new national holiday, but only in Britain. It will be called "Indecisive Day."

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap, and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call 'French fries' are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat.
Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling "beer" is not actually beer at all, it is lager . From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company those product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in the Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From the 10th of November the UK will harmonise petrol (or "gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it until the 1st of April) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon -- get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation

The NFL playoffs.

Since I am living in Kansas City I have decided to support the local NFL team the Kansas City Chiefs. This season they just made it to the playoffs relying heavily on other teams results. Yesterday I watched their playoff game and unfortunately they got hammered. I think it was the worst performance I have ever watched. I have to admit I don't fully understand the game yet but I could see they were awful.
The big thing I have noticed about the NFL is the attention span required to watch a game. I am used to watching an English football match with two 45-minute halves. Each half runs without a break. An NFL game has a burst of play, maybe two minutes then there is a commercial break. A 15-minute quarter might last 20 - 30 minutes. As a result you find yourself watching the game and doing other things. Emailing friends, cooking lunch etc and you don't miss anything. I can see why Americans will never get into English soccer, they simply don't have the attention span for it and the advertisers couldn't cope with a 15-minute break at half time and nothing else.
The NFL is exciting to watch. Americans really know how to put on a show but that’s the feel it has. It’s more like a Westend show than a sports event. It doesn’t have the raw sports feel of a Premiership football match. Each to their own I guess.

Food Day

About three times a year someone in the office here in KC will send around an email suggesting their should be a food day. They always mention how its been so long since the last one and instruct everyone to bring in an item of food. This is not something that really happens much in the UK so I am always interested to see what people will bring in.
Today was just such a day and in true American style a mountain of food was brought into the office and everyone took part. There wasn't much in the way of healthy food and I was amazed no-one slipped into a diabetic coma. At lunchtime a delivery of bar-b-que meat was brought up to our area and everybody tucked in. The amount of food was truly amazing. For those that know where to look I have put a few pictures on flickr.
Enjoy.

Another treat for a Friday. Do you think this kid had a tough time at school?

Another story caught my eye this week that falls into the ‘Only In America’ bracket. Here is the link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6173535.stm Basically the folks in Texas are trying to pass a bill to allow ‘blind’ people to go hunting with guns. At the moment the blind people of Texas feel they are being discriminated against since they don’t have the same chance of shooting a wild animal as their sighted friends. They want to ability to fit a laser sight to their weapon. Currently these are banned, as are torches and car headlights.
I read the article a few times and couldn’t quite grasp how a laser sight would help. If you are blind or partially sighted how would a tiny red dot help you hit anything? I asked a few of my American friends and they said the laser sight was for the ‘hunting buddy’ who would accompany the blind person. The new bill will insist that a blind person must have a sighted person with them when they go walking through the woods with a loaded gun.

So the way I see it, the pair of them will creep up on the deer, the blind person will raise his rifle and switch on the laser. The sighted guy will then give it the old, left a bit, right a bit, ready……aim……fire. Boom, the blind guy has fired a gun at something. I really can’t see the satisfaction. What’s to stop the sighted person congratulating his mate saying he has just made the perfect kill when all he really did is put a hole in a tree? It all seems a bit bizarre to me but then I don’t hunt wild animals so probably haven’t really grasped the whole concept. It occurred to me it was just another way to sell more hunting licenses and guns and bullets but I’m sure that not the motive.
When I asked my friends at work who I know own guns about this they didn’t really react. The blind being given license to hunt isn’t really that dramatic to an American gun owner. They take that sort of news in their stride. They told me about a service that was setup a few years back and I found this even more amazing. Apparently an area in a forest somewhere in Texas was roped off and a number of webcams were trained on it. They then allowed, for a small fee, a “hunter” to logon to a webpage that had access to these webcams. The hunter could then look around the area of forest and control a crosshair using a mouse. Now here is the bizarre bit. By moving the mouse the hunter was actually moving a real gun that was mounted in the forest. If they spotted a deer they could take aim and with the click of a mouse fire a round.
Now this really is bizarre to me. Surely part of the attraction of hunting is sitting out in the cold for hours on end, stalking your prey, outwitting it and then killing it. How would sitting in your living room with a cup of coffee and a biscuit be compared to that. You might as well buy an Xbox. I then wondered if this service included shipment of the dead animal to your house.
To all the non-American readers out there I’m sure you will agree this is all “Only In America” stuff and to all the Americans reading I really have to commend you on dreaming up ways to allow so many people to hunt that would normally be excluded.

The mid-west of the USA is leading the way!!

Often slated for being a bit behind the times and very poor at conserving the environment it was interesting to see this website:

http://www.onebillionbulbs.com/

As it stands today the mid-west is doing a good job.

Well it’s another chilly day here in Kansas City. This blog seems to have turned into a “what’s different between the UK and the USA”. Well, one thing that is very different is the weather. Typically in the UK you might expect the temperature to drop below 0 degrees Celsius in winter, maybe you get the odd -2 or -3 day but not here in Kansas City!! Right now I would love it to be zero degrees.
When I got into my car this morning the temperature was -12 degrees. For a Brit not used to these temperatures that’s mighty cold. I drove the first few minutes laughing out loud at how cold it was. I think I was going a little insane, I just couldn’t get warm!! When I got to work the car had not reached full temperature. Usually that would happen after a few minutes of driving. Stepping out of the car I experienced the other chilling factor here in KC, wind chill. The stiff breeze dropped the temperature another few degrees. I think it was probably the coldest I have ever been and that’s including various skiing trips up lots of cold mountains.
It’s good fun though. The weather in the UK can be a bit bland. It’s not often you get exciting weather. So far this month I have experienced a foot of snow falling in four hours and temperatures below -12. Apparently this weekend is going to be sunny and warm again. It really is all over the place. A few friends at work have warned me today won’t be the coldest day. Each year there is usually a day that goes below -20. That should be fun!! It’s actually a bit dangerous walking around in those sorts of temperatures. Any moisture on your exposed skin will freeze. Happy times.
Well, that’s the end of my weather report. It’s safe to say Kansas City and the UK are very different when it comes to weather.